June.........

Its about this time one year ago, I got my first offer to leave big O after being 6.5 years there. Its almost a year now... can you believe it?

Time sure flies. brings back memories about the emotional turmoil I went thru during that period of time and how the world just went down hill and never stopped.

How am I faring now as its been a year now? I would say, that window of opportunity gave me the courage to leave the place which had lost its luster to me but yet I hung on just becoz I was too afraid of the unknown. I wouldn't say that I am totally happy everyday of my life since I left.

I miss my old friends.. I miss the familiarity ... Unfortunately, nothing last forever.

Just couple of days ago, I got both sms-es and emails telling me that 2 of the people whom I would say quite close to me in my previous company has tendered and left the company. Funnily when I called one of them, she told I am the first to congratulate her while others kept telling her that she made a mistake. She told me that she is afraid. I told her, I felt the same way when I left. Filled with fear and anxiety. Consoling her was like just me consoling myself. I told her that it will eventually get better...

But did it get better for me? I am still having sleepless nites. Esp this week, I can't sleep, I can barely eat. I had 2 escalation this week while the bloodee indian bonnie just sat on his big fat arse and did nothing except a 85 format proof reading document. The work load is definitely not equally distributed

And to add on to the problem, this lab admin who is also my team mate doing the same work but with additional role as lab admin has threaten me. See, he is very very extremely unhappy with bonnie. But he is chicken shit.. he doesn't want to complain but instead asking the rest of us to complain then he will complain. He gave me an ultimatum during lunch yesterday, he said, okay in your 1 to 1 with yoda ( nickname we gave our boss but just fortunate, she is neither cute nor as adorable as yoda but her height matches hehehehe) to spill the beans about bonnie. I said if you want to tell go ahead but you can't dictate what I want to say in my 1 to 1. Then he said this , if so then don't ever come look for me with work relate things esp the lab. WHAT THE !*@&#(*!&@#*!. whats happening to the team?

For me, I just do my work, I need to get my numbers up.... thats all. Get my fricking salary and dream of a future away from this corporate crap.

Actually bonnie has a nickname we call him at work its 42.... :) have you ever watch that awful not fully english comedy on tv.... the no 42 at ....
hehehhee.

My mood has better today. Thurdsay and friday was pretty foul as problems just kept piling up and I hate the bloodee developers in the US. Bloodee arrogant group of s (!&@#*(&!@. Yesterday I was at work at 6.40am... doing some CBT training before the meeting at 10 and also to complete one of my cases.

This weekend I am just gonna snooze my brains out.